What a funny jokster you are!  Yes, we found out today what you have known all along....mommy is having twins!!  Identical twin boys!!  Yes, that is hilarious!!  You must have thought that so funny when I wrote the other day that mommy needed just one more. 
Yes, people.  Twins.  Identical.  Boys.  No matter how many times I say it/type it... it doesn't become any more real.  Right after the gasp of shock I let out at the sonogram, I said but my best friend has twins.  Yes, my best friend has Identical twin boys...seriously, what are the chances??!!  Not possible. 
We are of course thrilled, shocked, scared, excited....shocked.  We are going to go from a family of four to a family of six.  Matt and I sat on the couch last night and I looked at him and said we are going to have four kids.  He just laughed out loud! 
So, there you go.  Please say a prayer for our little boys.  Now we have two babies to worry about.  And it makes me miss my dad even more.  He LOVED babies.  Loved holding them and snuggling them and feeding them bottles.  Oh how he would have loved these boys.  And oh how we could have used the extra set of hands! 

Well, Connor has another sibling on the way to watch over.  We are expecting another baby in February.  I am beyond happy, excited and terrified.  I am so very blessed with two healthy girls.  I feel as though I am pushing the envelope a bit.  But then I think why not me?  Why can't I have the big family I have always dreamed about?  Today, I saw a mom with six, yes, SIX kids and I thought...if she can have six strong healthy kids, can't I have just one more? please...
The girls are thrilled.  Well, Kate is thrilled....so excited about finally getting to be a big sister.  She talks to my tummy and rubs her baby.  Emma, well she has some concerns about being a big sister to two because as she says, being a big sister can be difficult.  I think oh please, please let them have this baby.  Please don't take this away from them.  Please don't make them grieve another sibling. 
Okay, I know I sound more of a basket case than I am.  I really spend most of my time being excited and a little nervous about doing all of this again.  There are just these moments when I think of all of the things that can go wrong.  I try not to stay there for long. 
On Monday, we have our nuchal scan sonogram and I guess I'm feeling a bit nervous.  But so excited to see my little one on the screen.  As usual, we got off to a rough start and we had a sonogram around six weeks.  Seeing that tiny heartbeat on the screen took my breath away.  That never gets old.  What a miracle.  There is a little life growing inside me.  Amazing. 
So, Connor, please watch over this little one.  I know your sisters keep you busy, especially you know who but take care of this little one.  Mommy needs just one more.